Arr, ye've been boarded!

Prepare to be gutted with laughs, quartered by puns, and made to walk the plank of ARRRRRs. Today we carry 1,066 jokes below deck.

On August 3, 2005, the dreaded evan said:

This pirate wants to buy a parrot. So, he
goes to the pet shop and asks this guy about this parrot. The guy says if you put a lighter under its right wing it sings a song. The pirate wonders what it would sing if the pirate puts the lighter under the parrot's tail. He holds his lighter under its tail, and the parrot begins to sing: "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire!"

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From: a christmas joke · Link hearrrre!

Fire starboard — another joke! 🏴‍☠️

Chart yer course

Browse every joke in the hold, the mighty ARR! jokes, quick one-liners, salty pirate stories, the dreaded Top 20, or the Cap'n's own favorites. Got a good one? Leave yer booty here.

Fresh from the Captain's Blarrrg (September 19, 2016):
“Ahoy matey, and another happy Talk Like a Pirate Day to ye! We've swabbed the deck with some new pirate jokes, full of AYE-Phones and Uberrrrrrrrrs, yarrrgh! I'd like to share with…” Read on!