Arr, ye've been boarded!

Prepare to be gutted with laughs, quartered by puns, and made to walk the plank of ARRRRRs. Today we carry 1,066 jokes below deck.

On December 23, 2009, the most piratical Spencer Prentice said:

A pirate is standing in the paper goods aisle of his local grocery store. He's been standing there looking for 30 minutes when the manager comes up and asks, "You have been here for quite awhile sir. Can I help you find something?"

The Pirate turns and says "No matey, I just can't decide between the Bounty or the CHARRRRRRRRmin!"

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From: I made it up myself, sARRRY to say. · Link hearrrre!

Fire starboard — another joke! 🏴‍☠️

Chart yer course

Browse every joke in the hold, the mighty ARR! jokes, quick one-liners, salty pirate stories, the dreaded Top 20, or the Cap'n's own favorites. Got a good one? Leave yer booty here.

Fresh from the Captain's Blarrrg (September 19, 2016):
“Ahoy matey, and another happy Talk Like a Pirate Day to ye! We've swabbed the deck with some new pirate jokes, full of AYE-Phones and Uberrrrrrrrrs, yarrrgh! I'd like to share with…” Read on!