A guy walks into a pub with a t-shirt that says "Pirates are stupid for 3 reasons!" He walks up to the bar, orders an ale. and sits down. He no more than gets his quaff when a smelly old sot comes up to him and says, "Aaargh, thar, matey! What's that yer shirt be sayin' thar?"

The guy looks around, looks the man straight in the eyes (well, in his one good eye, anyway), and says "Reason number 1 -- Pirates can't read!" Then he turns around to enjoy his beverage.

Not used to this sort of disrespect, the surly gent takes his hooked arm, lays it aggressively on the man's shoulder, and slowly says, "What's that ye be sayin' thar, sonny-boy?"

The guy looks around again, looks his aggressor square in the eye this time, and enunciates, "Rea-son num-ber 2 -- Pirates can't hear!" And again, he turns around to face the bar.

Well, by this time, the old codger has had enough. He backs up, pulls his sword, and growls, "Aaaaargh, ye bilge rat, that be enuff of yer sass! Stand up and fight, ye lubber, yer soon to be acquainted with Davy Jones, his-self!"

With that, the guy stands up, pulls his pistol, and shoots the pirate dead through his one good eye. He drops his head as he watches him fall, sighs, and says, "Reason #3 -- You pirates are constantly bringing swords to gunfights!"