- These be jokes 101 - 110 of 20 scurvy jokes!
On June 5, 2013, salty ol' Black Eye Joe said:
A Pirate with a Wooden Eye walked into a Scanty Bar.
There he saw a Beautiful Gal drinking alone at the bar, dangling a peg leg over the barstool, and looking lonely.
She had a Harelip but she was a woman he could not over look.
So, he walked on over on his Peg Leg and asked, “Hey little
darling, would you like to belly-up for a few drinks with me,” and she answered, “Would I, Would I,” and the Pirate retorted, “Harelip, Harelip!”
There he saw a Beautiful Gal drinking alone at the bar, dangling a peg leg over the barstool, and looking lonely.
She had a Harelip but she was a woman he could not over look.
So, he walked on over on his Peg Leg and asked, “Hey little
darling, would you like to belly-up for a few drinks with me,” and she answered, “Would I, Would I,” and the Pirate retorted, “Harelip, Harelip!”
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From: Old as I am or older |
On May 12, 2006, one-legged Redruth said:
A man walks into a pet store and says, "I'm playing Long John Silver in the play Treasure Island, and I'm looking for a parrot. Can you sell me one?" The pet store owner says, "You don't want a real parrot, it'll squawk all the time and poop on your shoulder, and what if it falls off during the play?" The man says, "Well, I want to be as realistic as possible." The pet store owner says, "I've got a stuffed parrot you can use. Can you pick it up on Thursday?"
"Oh, I can't come on Thursday. That's when I'm getting my leg cut off."
"Oh, I can't come on Thursday. That's when I'm getting my leg cut off."
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From: Pirate Joke of the day during rehearsal for Treasure Island |
On January 14, 2014, the most piratical Mad John Flint said:
Ahoy ye lads and lasses! How do ye compliment a creative pirate?!
Tell them that they be a fine Arrrrrghtist!
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From: Full fathom five |
On February 3, 2015, seven sea sailin' Dr. Charles G. Waugh said:
What keeps a parrot on a pirate's shoulder?
Poligrip! (polly-grip)
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From: original |
On January 14, 2009, the grog-addicted Cap'n Billy the Butcher said:
Top 10 things overheard at the dinner table that show your child is quickly becoming a pirate
(10) "You can flog me, but I'm not eating creamed spinach."
(9) "I've buried me treasure in the mashed potatoes."
(8) "I'll need another ration of grog if you expect me to eat these peas."
(7) "Your tuna noodle casserole would be perfect to fill cracks in the deck."
(6) "This chicken tastes like the parrot I was forced to eat after being marooned on an island for 30 days."
(5) "I wouldn't serve brussel sprouts to even the prisoners in the brig."
(4) "If I eat all my food, can I plunder the neighbors before I go to bed?"
(3) "This burger is fatty enough to grease a mast."
(2) "Too many vegetables - too little shark."
(1) "What did they do with the last cook's body after he was hung from the yardarm?"
(10) "You can flog me, but I'm not eating creamed spinach."
(9) "I've buried me treasure in the mashed potatoes."
(8) "I'll need another ration of grog if you expect me to eat these peas."
(7) "Your tuna noodle casserole would be perfect to fill cracks in the deck."
(6) "This chicken tastes like the parrot I was forced to eat after being marooned on an island for 30 days."
(5) "I wouldn't serve brussel sprouts to even the prisoners in the brig."
(4) "If I eat all my food, can I plunder the neighbors before I go to bed?"
(3) "This burger is fatty enough to grease a mast."
(2) "Too many vegetables - too little shark."
(1) "What did they do with the last cook's body after he was hung from the yardarm?"
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From: Me book, GUIDE TO PIRATE PARENTING |
On May 31, 2009, one-eyed Anonymous Pirate said:
Why did the pirate get an A+ in debate class?
Because he loved to ARRRRRRgue!
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From: Me skull! |
On June 12, 2008, land-lubber Pirate Scum said:
What did the pirate get on the test?
A high sea!
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On July 11, 2006, the dreaded Sazza Harazza, The Queen Of The Yellow Fever Pirate Skanks. said:
What do pirates and gangsters have in common?
They both say "Yo Ho"!
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From: Victor Piers Hamilton Montgomery Stitt. |
On April 16, 2007, the most piratical Fly Borchetti said:
What did the pirate say when someone called him a name?
I know you ARRRrrrgh but what am 'aye?!
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From: My warped mind |
On August 19, 2011, one-legged SHAWN MCBEATH said:
How do pirates communicate with their loved ones while out at sea?
With their SMARRRRRT phone!!
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From: MCBEATH OF SCOTLAND |
